You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
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