I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
