She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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