The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Houston, we have a squirter
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
