that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
