whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
It was confusing and full of hummus
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
