Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My ATM looks so different sober.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
