I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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