How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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