i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
