Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Pooping to opera.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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