dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
