Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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