My liver just broke up with me...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
