onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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