Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
