I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
