I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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