i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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