The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
no more duck duck goose at the bar
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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