Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
