therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
