The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
