some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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