Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
two words: eviction party
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
