Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
