bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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