Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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