Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
