I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
