He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
