i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
