Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
