I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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