My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
