Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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