i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
