Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
