i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
