forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
