at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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