that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
she smelled like a LAN party
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
