i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
