It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
and she was petting her beer can
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
