Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize