She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
