you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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