For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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