trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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