i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
